Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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