Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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