Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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