Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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