Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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