Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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