Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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