Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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