Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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