Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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