Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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