Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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