Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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