Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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A seal walks into a club...
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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