Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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