Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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