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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?
To get his filling!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?
"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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