Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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