Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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