Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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