Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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