Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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