Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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