Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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