Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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