Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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