Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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