Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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