Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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