Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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