Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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