Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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