Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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