Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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