Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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