Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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