Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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