Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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