Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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