Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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