Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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