Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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