Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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