Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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