Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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