Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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