Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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