Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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