Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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