Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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