Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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