Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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