Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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