Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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