Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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