Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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