Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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