Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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