Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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