Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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