Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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