Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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