Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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