Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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