Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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