Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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