Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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