Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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