Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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