Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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