Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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