Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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