Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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