Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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