Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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