Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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