Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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