Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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