Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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