Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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