Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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