Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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