Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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