Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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