Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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