Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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