Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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