Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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