Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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