Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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