Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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