Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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