Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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