Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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