Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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