Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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