Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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