Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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