Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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