Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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