Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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