Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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