Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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