Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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