Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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