Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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