Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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