Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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