Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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