Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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