Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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