Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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