Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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