Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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