Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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