Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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