Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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