Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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