Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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