Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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