Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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