Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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