Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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