Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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