Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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