Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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