Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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