Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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