Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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