Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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