Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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