Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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