Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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