Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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