Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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