Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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