Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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