Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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