Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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