Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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