Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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