Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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