Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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