Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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