Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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