Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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