Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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