Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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