Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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