Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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