Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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