Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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