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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A shampoodle
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?
A cow walking backwards
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.
With a tuba glue.
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