Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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