Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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