Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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