Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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