Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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