Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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