Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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