Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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