Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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