Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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