Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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