Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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