Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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