Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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