Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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