Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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