Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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