Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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