Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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