Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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