Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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