Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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