Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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