Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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