Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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