Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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