Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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