Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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