Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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