Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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