Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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