Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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