Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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