Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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