Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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