Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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