Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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