Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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