Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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