Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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