Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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