Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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