Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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