Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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