Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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