Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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