Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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