Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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