Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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