Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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