Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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