Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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