Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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