Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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