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Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A watch dog.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?
Ask Cheese.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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