Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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