Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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