Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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