Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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