Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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