Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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