Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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