Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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