Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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