Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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