Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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