Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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