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Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane
but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are babies good at soccer?
Because they dribble!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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