Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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