Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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