Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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