Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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