Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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