Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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