Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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