Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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