Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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