Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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