Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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