Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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