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Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?
Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?
Booberry pie!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?
He wanted his soil to be rich!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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