Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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