Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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