Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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