Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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