Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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