Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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