Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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