Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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