Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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