Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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