Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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