Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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