Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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