Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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