Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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