Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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