Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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