Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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