Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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