Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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