Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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