Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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