Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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