Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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