Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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