Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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