Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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