Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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