Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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