Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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