Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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