Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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