Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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