Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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