Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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