Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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