Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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