Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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