Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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