Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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