Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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