Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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