Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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