Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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