Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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