Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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