Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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