Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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