Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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