Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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