Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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