Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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