Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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