Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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