Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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