Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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