Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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