Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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