Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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