Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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