Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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