Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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