Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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