Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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