Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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