Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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