Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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