Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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