Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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