Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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