Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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