Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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