Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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