Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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