Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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