Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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