Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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