Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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