Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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