Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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