Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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