Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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