Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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