Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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