Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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