Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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