Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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