Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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