Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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