Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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