Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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