Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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