Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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