Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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