Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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