Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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