Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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