Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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