Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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