Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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