Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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