Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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