Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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