Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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