Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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