Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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