Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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