Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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