Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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