Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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