Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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