Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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