Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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