Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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