Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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