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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?
She kept running away from the ball.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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