Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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