Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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