Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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