Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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