Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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