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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?
To the dock.
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What is a cow's favorite place?
The mooseum.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?
A cr-oak tree.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
Because he's Haydn.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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