Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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