Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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