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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?
Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
A parking meteor!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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