Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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