Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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