Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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