Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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