Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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