Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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