Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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