Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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