Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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