Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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