Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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