Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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