Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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