Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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