Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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