Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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