Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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