Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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