Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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