Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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