Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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