Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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