Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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