Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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