Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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