Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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