Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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