Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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