Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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