Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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