Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
Canvas not available.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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