Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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