Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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