Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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