Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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