Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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