Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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