Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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