Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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