Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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