Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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