Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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