Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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