Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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