Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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