Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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