Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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