Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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