Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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