Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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