Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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