Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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