Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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