Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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