Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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