Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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