Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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