Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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