Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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