Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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