Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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