Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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