Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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