Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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