Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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