Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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