Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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