Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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