Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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