Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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