Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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