Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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