Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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