Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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