Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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