Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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