Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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