Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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