Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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