Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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