Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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