Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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