Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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