Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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