Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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