Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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