Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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