Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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