Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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