Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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