Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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