Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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