Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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