Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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