Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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