Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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