Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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