Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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