Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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