Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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