Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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