Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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