Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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