Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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