Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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