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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?
No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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If you don't know what introspection is,
you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?
He doesn't have a heart.
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Which day do fish hate?
Fryday
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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