Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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