Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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