Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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