Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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