Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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