Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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