Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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