Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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