Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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