Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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