Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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