Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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