Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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