Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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