Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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