Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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