Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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