Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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