Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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