Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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