Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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