Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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