Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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