Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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