Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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