Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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