Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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