Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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