Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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