Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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