Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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