Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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