Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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