Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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