Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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