Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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