Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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