Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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