Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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