Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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