Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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