Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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