Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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