Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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