Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!


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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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