Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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