Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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