Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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