Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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