Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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