Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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