Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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