Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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