Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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