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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
That's not funny!!!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
Accountants know they're boring.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A pair of Re-Bachs.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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