Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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