Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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