Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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