Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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