Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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