Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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