Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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