Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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