Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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