Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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