Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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