Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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