Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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