Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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