Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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