Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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