Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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