Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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