Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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