Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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