Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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