Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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