Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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