Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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