Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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A seal walks into a club...
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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