Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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