Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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