Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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