Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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