Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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