Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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