Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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