Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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