Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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