Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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