Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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