Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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