Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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