Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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