Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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