Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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