Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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