Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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