Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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