Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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