Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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