Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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