Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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