Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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