Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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