Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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