Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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