Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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