Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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