Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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