Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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