Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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