Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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