Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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