Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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