Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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