Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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