Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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