Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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