Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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