Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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