Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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