Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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