Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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