Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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