Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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