Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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