Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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