Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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