Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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