Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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