Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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