Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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