Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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