Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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