Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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