Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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