Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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