Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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