Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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