Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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