Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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