Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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