Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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