Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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