Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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