Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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