Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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