Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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