Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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