Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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