Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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