Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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