Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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