Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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