Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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