Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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