Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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