Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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