Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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