Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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