Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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