Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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