Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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