Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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