Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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