Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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