Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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