Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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