Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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