Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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