Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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