Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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