Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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