Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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