Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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