Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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