Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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