Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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