Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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