Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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