Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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