Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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