Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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