Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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