Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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