Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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