Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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