Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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