Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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