Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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