Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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