Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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