Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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