Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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