Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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