Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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