Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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