Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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