Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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