Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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