Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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