Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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