Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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