Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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