Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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