Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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