Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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