Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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