Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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