Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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