Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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