Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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