Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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