Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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