Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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