Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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