Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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