Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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