Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.

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