Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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