Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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