Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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