Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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