Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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