Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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