Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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