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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?
Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?
Half a worm.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?
"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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