Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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