Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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