Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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