Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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