Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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