Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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