Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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