Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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