Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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