Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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