Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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