Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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