Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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