Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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