Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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