Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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