Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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