Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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