Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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