Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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