Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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