Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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