Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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