Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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