Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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