Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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