Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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