Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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