Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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