Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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