Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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