Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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