Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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