Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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