Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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