Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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