Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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