Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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