Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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