Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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