Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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