Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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