Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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