Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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