Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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