Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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