Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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