Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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