Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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