Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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