Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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