Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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