Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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