Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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