Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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