Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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