Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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