Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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