Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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