Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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