Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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