Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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