Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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