Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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