Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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