Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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