Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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