Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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