Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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