Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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