Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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