Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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