Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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