Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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