Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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