Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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