Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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