Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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