Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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