Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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