Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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