Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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