Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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