Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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