Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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