Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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