Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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