Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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