Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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