Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A seal walks into a club...
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