Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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