Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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