Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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