Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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