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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is a lion's favorite state?
Maine
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A milkshake
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
Hair Force One!
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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.
With a tuba glue.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?
Take me to your liter.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, but they're really only one.
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