Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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