Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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