Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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