Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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