Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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