Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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