Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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