Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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