Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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