Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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