Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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