Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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