Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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