Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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