Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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