Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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