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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A tattoo.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?
I'm all spaced out!
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