Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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