Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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