Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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