Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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