Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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