Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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