Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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