Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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