Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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