Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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