Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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