Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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