Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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