Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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