Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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