Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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