Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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