Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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