Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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