Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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