Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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