Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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