Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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