Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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