Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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