Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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