Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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