Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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