Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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