Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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