Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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