Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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