Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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