Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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