Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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