Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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