Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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