Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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