Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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