Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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