Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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