Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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