Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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