Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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