Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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