Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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