Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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