Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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