Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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