Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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