Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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