Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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