Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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