Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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