Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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