Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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