Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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