Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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