Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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