Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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