Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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