Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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