Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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