Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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