Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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