Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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