Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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