Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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