Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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