Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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