Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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