Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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