Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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