Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A seal walks into a club...
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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