Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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