Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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