Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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