Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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