Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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