Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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