Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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