Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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