Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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