Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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