Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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