Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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