Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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