Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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