Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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