Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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