Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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