Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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