Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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