Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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