Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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