Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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