Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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