Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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