Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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