Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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