Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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