Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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