Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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