Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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