Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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