Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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