Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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