Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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