Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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