Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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