Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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