Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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