Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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