Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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