Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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