Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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