Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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