Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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