Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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