Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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