Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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