Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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