Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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