Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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