Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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