Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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