Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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