Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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