Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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