Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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