Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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