Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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