Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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