Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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