Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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