Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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