Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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