Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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