Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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