Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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