Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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