Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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