Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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