Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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