Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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