Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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