Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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