Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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