Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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