Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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