Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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