Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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