Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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