Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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