Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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