Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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