Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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