Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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