Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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