Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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