Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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