Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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