Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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