Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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