Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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