Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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