Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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