Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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