Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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