Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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