Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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