Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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