Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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