Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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