Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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