Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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