Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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