Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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