Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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