Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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