Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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