Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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