Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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