Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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