Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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