Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

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