Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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