Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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