Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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