Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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