Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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