Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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