Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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