Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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