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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
With a cowculator.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What`s black & white & red all over?
An embarrased mime!
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What's the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.
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