Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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