Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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