Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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