Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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