Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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