Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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