Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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