Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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