Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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