Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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