Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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