Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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