Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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