Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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