Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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