Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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