Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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