Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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