Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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