Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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