Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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