Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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