Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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