Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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