Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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