Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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