Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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