Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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