Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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