Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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