Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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