Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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