Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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