Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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