Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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