Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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