Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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