Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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