Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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