Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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