Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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