Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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