Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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