Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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