Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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