Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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