Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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