Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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