Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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