Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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