Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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