Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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