Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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