Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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