Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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