Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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