Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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