Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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