Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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