Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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