Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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