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Why does cheese look sane?
Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
So he could grade his eggs.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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