Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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