Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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