Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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