Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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