Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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