Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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