Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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