Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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