Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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