Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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