Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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