Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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