Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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