Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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