Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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