Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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