Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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