Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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