Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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