Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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