Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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