Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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