Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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