Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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