Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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