Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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