Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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