Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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