Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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