Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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