Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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