Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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