Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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