Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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