Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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