Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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