Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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