Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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