Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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